Week 40

How I am feeling 

I think it goes without saying that I am a little anxious at this point.  I think I could be a lot more patient if I wasn’t faced with the typical comments from others who are very excited to meet Lilly and are getting a little impatient.  I have actually had people ask me (in person) if I have had the baby yet.  I replied to someone, with a completely straight face mind you, “Yeah, I had her.”  It was pretty funny.  I know people mean well and they are just excited for us, but I kind of wish people would remember that what they are feeling is a tiny fragment of what I am feeling and reminding me of that is not very fun for me. 

I am feeling good overall though.  I had some Braxton Hicks contractions on Saturday, but nothing since then.   I actually had a strange night last night.  It’s a long story, but I woke up in the middle of the night and thought my water had broken, but I was not feeling anything else.  I spent the next 2 hours awake trying to convince myself that any little pang or movement was a contraction…it wasn’t.  So I was little tired this morning.  Luckily I came home and took a cat nap before hitting the gym.  I am trying to make sure that I stay well rested for the big day.   

Here is what I look like at 40 weeks:

People seemed to really like the side-by-side last week, so here is another one.  This is me at 20 weeks and then at 40 weeks.  Hello belly!

Baby movement/progress:

I went to the doctor on Wednesday and the midwife said I was 2-3 cm dilated, the baby is at -2 station and that my cervix was thinning very well.  She said I could go into labor any time and to just try to hang in there.  I spent about 30 minutes on a baby heart rate monitor and a contraction monitor so that we could make sure that Lilly is still going strong and good to stay put until she is ready.  It was really neat to sit and listen to her heartbeat for that long.  I also loved hearing the monitor when she would move around.  Her heartbeat is excellent and she is still moving well, so we are good to wait until she is ready.  I am happy about this because I really want to avoid induction is possible, but it does mean more waiting.

I have been trying every trick in the book to get this labor started.  I am keeping active and still working out at the gym, going for walks, sitting and rocking on a stability ball, drinking raspberry leaf tea, taking evening primrose oil and pretty much every other old wives tale that you can think of (except castor oil because that is gross and my midwife advised against it).  Basically, none of these things will work unless she is ready, but at least it makes me feel like I am doing something. 

Lilly doesn’t have much room to move around anymore, but she definitely stretches her legs as much as possible!  My left side takes a real beating when she is awake.  I can tell she has dropped as well because I have a constant feeling of having to pee!  Sometimes I can feel her kicks and she is literally propelling herself down and her head is pushing on my bladder.  Luckily my years of teaching have trained me to be able to hold it for long periods of time.    

Shout Outs

A big shout out to Michelle and Carissa for coming over on Tuesday for a little girl time to help keep me occupied.  We had a great time just hanging out, drinking mocktails and eating Michelle’s amazing artichoke dip and some pizza.  They really helped me to turn my thinking around and start thinking of all of the things Lilly will be here for and to get excited for her arrival.  They both have been through this twice and knew exactly how to make me focus on the excitement and not on the waiting.  The following night we went to a downtown concert in Varina and saw a cover band, Spare Change.  It was fun to watch Allie and Ryan dance and run around, and the music was great.  Plus, we indulged in a cupcake from Cupcake Bite, so that was a big pick me up.  It was nice to be out and about and not sitting at home letting my thoughts drive me crazy.  Now I am determined to make a lot of plans for the weekend so we have a lot to look forward to.  Last weekend was hard for me and I was kind of blue on Sunday because I was really hoping she would come before we had to go back to work on Monday.  I don’t want that to happen again this weekend. 

Nursery:

This doesn’t fit here exactly, but it’s part of preparing for Lilly, so I think it works.  We were very disappointed to find out that the in home daycare provider we had found months ago and absolutely loved had to back out and she will no longer be able to watch Lilly.  Unfortunately, she had a bad fall and hurt her back.  She is ok, but healing has been hard and she is worried about taking on a baby that would need to be held all the time and the strain it would put on her back.  I completely understand her concern and we appreciated her honesty, but we really were happy with the situation and the thought of starting this search again is not what I want to be thinking about right now.  If anyone knows of anyone who would like to watch an infant come mid August, let me know J  I already tried to get my mom to move down here and that didn’t work.  Hehe.

Labor and Birth:

 I have been reading another book called “Active Birth” to keep all the information fresh in my mind for Lilly’s birth.  My doula, Kalan, loaned it to me and recommended that we practice some of the labor and birthing positions suggested ahead of time because we want to be as prepared as possible.  I am a firm believer in not giving birth laying down or even sitting, but instead using gravity to help by standing, squatting or kneeling.  These positions, however, will require support from Darren and possibly Kalan, so it’s important that we practice them ahead of time to find the ways that are most comfortable for me as well as Darren. 

I am so thankful for having a doula, and that we found Kalan.  I strongly recommend a doula for any first time moms for sure, but definitely for anyone planning to have a natural childbirth.  I obviously have not gone through the entire experience yet, but just knowing that we have someone who will be with us the entire way has been so comforting and has taken away any fear I have of giving birth. 

Week 39

How I am feeling 

I am still feeling good, but I am really ready for Lilly to get here.  It’s so hard to wait!  When I left work on Friday, I was joking with my teammates and I told them I hope I don’t see them on Monday!  It’s nothing personal of course, I am just hoping to be in labor J  I have decided that Lilly should be born on Monday, June 4, because then her birthday would be 6-4, which is the team I teach on at HGMS.  How perfect is that???  I still love the idea of her birthing being 6-6-12 as well, so I am ok with her being on time as well. 

Some people have decided to start guessing when she will be born.  Sadly, I think only one person so far has said she will come early.  Come on ladies!  Don’t wish a baby coming late for another woman!  I am willing to wait for her, but it would be great if people were sending early delivery vibes my way instead of late delivery. 

 Maybe this will be my last blog before Lilly is born!  Or maybe not…we’ll see!

Here is what I look like at 39 weeks:

Here is a side by side of me at 29 weeks and 39 weeks:

 Lilly went from a grapefruit to a watermelon pretty quickly!!!

Baby movement/progress:

I had the most amazing dream last night.  It might sound strange, but I dreamed about holding Lilly for the first time after delivery and her lying on my chest.  She then did the allusive “breast crawl” and started nursing.  I know this might seem a little strange, but it was the most amazing dream and I was so happy when I woke up that I didn’t even want to go back to sleep even though it was a little earlier than I wanted to get up.  I just wanted to remember that dream and to not get it muddled by other dreams if I went back to sleep.  Dreams when you are pregnant are so vivid that it really seemed real.  Hopefully I won’t have to wait too much longer to make this dream a reality!

At my last doctor’s appointment on Wednesday, things have not changed much.  I am still between 1-2 cm dilated and she is at -2 station.  She didn’t tell me how effaced I am, but she did say that my cervix is thinning, so that is good.  Numbers mean so little anyway.  Lilly will come when she is ready.  Babies come on their own schedule and don’t follow a set formula.  I have been working out still and walking a lot to try to speed things up naturally, but who knows if any of those things actually work.  I’ve heard it all: spicy food, bumpy car rides, eating eggplant parmesan, raspberry tea.  I haven’t tried any of these things, but it is kind of amazing how many people swear that some of these things work.

Shout Outs

Thank you to everyone for all the support and advice throughout my pregnancy.  This has been an amazing journey and I am so lucky to have so many amazing people in my life to make the journey a little less scary and a lot easier.

Nursery:

Everything is organized, clothing is washed and ready, and we have (as far as we can tell) everything we need.  It really feels like a nursery now because it’s full of stuff!  I thought I’d post one more set of pictures now that we’re so close. 

Labor and Birth:

 Darren and I sat down the other night and went over the information we received from our birthing class.  It was nice to review the information together, talk about anything we were nervous about and just make sure we are both on the same page about everything.  I told him I am nervous about him taking things personally if I get upset or short with him during labor, but it was nice to hear him assure me that he will understand and he won’t get mad. 

I really feel good about the choices we have made regarding labor and birth, and I am hoping things go (at least somewhat) according to how we would like.  I am also mentally preparing myself for the unexpected (which sounds like a contradiction) so that if things do not go according to plan, I am also prepared for that.  I am a firm believer that knowledge is power, so I am just trying to get every piece of knowledge possible ahead of time.